Have you ever been to Menver?

dating love

When I first returned to Denver, a married friend said to me, “You know that Denver is known as Menver, right?”  Uh…what?? “Because there are more single men than women here.” Needless to say, this was welcome news to someone who has virtually only lived in places where just the opposite is the problem. So I was thrilled, ecstatic really!  What better way to kick off my foray back into the US dating scene? I had visions of a dating bonanza where I would have to carefully balance my schedule to fit in all the offers. Dating gluttony, I couldn’t wait. So I eagerly signed up on an internet dating service, perfecting my bio by trying to appear carefree, fun, and happy, but not overly independent or self-absorbed. Geez, I could probably write a blog on all the factors one must consider in order to attractively personify yourself on-line. (I’ll save that for another time.) So I hit the approved button and anxiously awaited my prosperous dating future. Well, needless to say, it hasn’t worked out exactly as I anticipated. One month later, I have had more than 400 views, 3 winks and a couple of emails. Yeah, I haven’t been seeing a lot of action, if you know what I mean. I soothed my ego as I watched the number of views increase, but not much else. What’s wrong with these guys anyway? I mean, I am fabulous after all. 🙂

But not all hope was lost. As soon as I signed up for the internet dating, I got two unsolicited calls from dating agencies. It was a great boost as they confirmed the Menver theory and said ‘You are just what we need. You are in the right age range, unmarried and no children. It’s what these guys are looking for.” Wow! This was the first time I recall being told that being unmarried and childless at the age of 40 was actually in my favor. You mean there is nothing wrong with me? I was a little stunned. Super! Sign me up. Let’s get this rolling.  I made my appointments with the two agencies and prepared myself for the pitches. How much could this cost, really? After all, I was in demand! I was just the right type. Alas, as we all know, reality can be so disappointing sometimes.

Before you read on, just ask yourself, how much do you think a dating service that matched men and women together would cost? Here are a few details to consider, one agency provided a photo shoot and video; the other did not. One agency had a pool of 2500 candidates, 42% in the age range of 35-45; the other one had a total pool of ‘hundreds.’ When pressed, this was the lower hundreds, but an exact figure could not be named. One agency provided social events you had to pay for – in addition to the matching service. Both generally provided 1-2 matches (only dates if both parties agreed) per month.  So what do you think? Maybe I was being naive, but I thought, well a couple of hundred bucks a month. Yeah, well that wasn’t just naive, but wishful thinking. Both agencies initiated a cost of $8000-9000 for one year of service! Umm…excuse me? But am I not I exactly what you said you wanted?  Well, yes you are, Margaret and just for that one agency proceeded to lower the cost to $3,200 since I am currently ‘unemployed’ and also tagged on a ‘senior’ discount. (You certainly know how to make a gal feel good!) Of course, I had to sign up that day to catch this snazzy deal. The other agency came down to $1,000 with a guarantee of 10 referrals (again, that’s a match, but not necessarily a date).

So the reality in Menver may be a bit different than I originally thought or hoped for. I am certainly far from giving up; after all, there are some attractive, scrumptious, single Colorado men out there, at least from what I’ve seen on-line. But I have downgraded my expectations to be a bit more realistic. Like they say, nothing worth waiting for comes easily or is handed to you on a silver platter. Unless, you want to pay for the very expensive platter, I guess. Out of curiosity, I checked out the Denver demographics. Approximately 15% of the population of Denver is between 35-44 years. Of the total population in Denver (600,158 pax), 50.6% are men and 49.4% are women and 23% of the total have never married. Of course, these are only the numbers for Denver. I mean the surrounding suburbs are huge! There are probably so many single men in the suburb sea that I’ll have my pick of fish! Well, let’s wait and see.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Gail Des Jardin
    Oct 01, 2013 @ 10:37:56

    I really enjoyed reading this. I’m 46, just came back from visiting a friend in Denver, and am considering relocating there due, in part, to its mythical “Menver” status. I stayed in Stapleton while I was there, and I have to admit that it felt like there were more, and better looking, men in the local Starbucks than in my current hometown of Atlanta. The men there also seemed more likely to give me an approving look. Nothing creepy or anything. I just feel like I got checked out more often, which I didn’t mind. 🙂 In a nutshell, I felt like I fit in better there than I do in Atlanta, but I’m still trying to decide if I want to take the plunge and move. Thanks again for the article!


  2. risingwiththesun
    Mar 23, 2012 @ 11:47:45

    Hilarious post! I wrote about something similar in mine called “Black Girl Dating in Colorado”. Denver definitely has some cuties but dating here can also be weird. I recently signed up for the online dating site too and I feel like that is more exhausting then actual dating..I think it goes back to your other post about men needing to step up and take initative at certain times. Look forward to reading more of your posts 🙂


    • maggieat40
      Mar 24, 2012 @ 17:23:02

      Thanks so much! I’m now planning to switch to a different online dating service. Not real happy with what is going down at Match these days. Ugh – wish me luck. It is tiresome (and I haven’t even been at it that long)! Hope you are having a better experience. Checked out your blog and really enjoyed it – lots of insightful stuff there. I’ll keep reading! Cheers.


  3. edna
    Mar 09, 2012 @ 06:39:34

    great stuff Margaret…u r turning into a writer or were u always one?just checking on how the Menver thing is turning out after parting with quite some dollars…i think we should have proper online dating in Kenya coz am also feeling like i should put myself out there-missing to date again like i did in the 20s…keep up the blog is great!


  4. events in nyc
    Mar 06, 2012 @ 00:52:07

    Pretty great post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to mention that I’ve really loved surfing around your weblog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing in your rss feed and I am hoping you write again very soon!


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