$37,294

I recently spent $37,294. Ever wonder what this amount of money can buy you? I think of things like a down payment on a house. New car. Stock in Apple. New furniture and a kitchen remodel. Real estate investment. Buying a small business. Trip around the world. Maybe two years of a college tuition. Taxes in a bad, bad, bad, year. Twenty years of gas or maybe only 10 with prices skyrocketing. But no, I didn’t buy any of those things. I bought eggs. Yep, eggs and I’m not even sure how many eggs I’ll be getting. Who pays that much money for something without knowing what they are getting? Welcome to the world of infertility! I’ve faithfully devoted a whole lot of cashola to buy the eggs of another woman, so they can be fertilized with the sperm of some guy I selected on paper and then implanted into me for the ‘growing and harvesting.’ All in the name of baby. Geez! All that money – you’d think I would make an effort to avoid the painful part as well – like labor! But I am a glutton for punishment. As if deciding to get pregnant and raise a child alone wasn’t difficult, now I am faced with what seems like every possible challenge in my attempt to even GET pregnant. Must persevere. It’s like do or die at this point, after 2 1/2 years, 4 inseminations, 3 IVFs, 2 sperm donors, more than $100,000 and the emotional drama of a roller coaster, I can’t even think about giving up. Not an option.

So I selected my egg donor and wrote the big check. Let me tell you, picking an egg donor is a heck of a lot harder than picking a sperm donor. It’s somehow more personal. It wasn’t about identifying some guy with a good health history, attractive personality and potential. It was about finding me in someone else. I was obsessed with the egg donor’s looks. She had to look like me, using only baby/young girl pictures and physical descriptions as a reference. I wanted her height, weight, hair, eyes and overall looks to reflect me. I was looking for the spitting image. Unfortunately, I can’t get exactly what I want  – after all, no one else is me. So, I have to sacrifice some elements. Even managing the challenge of actual selection, I still faced egg donor drama. The first donor I picked (consulted with friends/family and agonized over) was no longer available by the time I informed the clinic. This actually ended up being ok, because the second donor I found was my identical match as a child. I mean, she looked just like me! I loved it. Fate had spoken. This was the one. The clinic contacted her. Her schedule was free and she was ready to go. Great! Everything working out as planned. Two days later, family emergency and she is off-line for 4-5 months. What?!?! So back to the drawing board to pick my third donor. This one stuck. And things are now underway with an egg retrieval planned in May. It’s kind of weird to think that someone out there…in my backyard, so to speak, is growing my future. Everyone says, in the end, it won’t matter. Your eggs, not your eggs, your genetics, not your genetics – it will be your baby and that will be all that matters.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Anne Marshall
    May 25, 2012 @ 16:33:43

    How is the process going? Been awhile since you’ve blogged…just thinking about you :-).

    Reply

    • maggieat40
      Jun 04, 2012 @ 08:38:11

      I know! I’ve been awful in keeping up the blog over the last month. I’ll blame it on my overseas travel! New update coming shortly – I hope:)

      Reply

  2. Meghan R.
    Apr 30, 2012 @ 17:02:15

    Wow! I had no idea you were doing this. Sending prayers and vibes things will stick and you’ll have a sweet little one soon. I think you’ll be a great mom!

    Reply

    • maggieat40
      Apr 30, 2012 @ 21:55:29

      Thanks Meghan! I’ll take all the good vibes I can get! It’s been such a long process, but hopefully this summer will bring about some good news for once!

      Reply

  3. ifUseekAmy
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 15:10:59

    How wonderful! All the best to you in this amazing thing you’re doing. Good luck!

    Reply

  4. Fred
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 12:20:10

    Good Luck Mags!
    You’ll make a wonderful mom!

    Reply

  5. Niamh
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 11:38:25

    Wow Mags! Good for you and wishing you good health and courage. it seems like you already have the latter nailed xxx

    Reply

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